PrintBy Shawn McKee
Staff Writer
Leaping leprechauns parade down a rainbow road, they deliver me pots of gold as beautiful, fair-skinned lasses hand me pints of green beer! We all sing “O’ Danny Boy” and dance like tomorrow will never come! A red-haired beauty reads my “Kiss me I’m Irish” T-shirt and decides that advice from a novelty T-shirt is worth taking, so she leans in for the kiss and…
Beep! Beep! Beep!
Oh, no! The screech from my alarm clock shatters my happy holiday dreaming and brings me right back into the cold reality that is today — Wednesday — a work day. I celebrated my heritage and love of whiskey and beer on St. Patrick’s Day, but today I must drag myself from the sanctuary of my warm, cozy bed and go bleary-eyed to work to slog through my day.
It will not be pretty.
I feel like someone blarney-stoned my brain, kicked me in the shamrocks and upholstered the interior of my mouth with well-worn, green shag carpet. This is my least favorite part of St. Paddy’s Day — the hangover.
Normally, I would use my tried-and-true hangover cure of ibuprofen, ice-cold Gatorade, a greasy, cheesy meal and lying on the couch watching SportsCenter all day, dozing in and out of consciousness, until about 4 or 5 this afternoon when my hangover gives way to the guilt of wasting another day after a night of over indulgence.
I can hit the snooze bar no more; I must get up. I’m going to need a game plan if I’m going to survive the day-after doldrums. So I head to the medicine cabinet.
Over-the-counter pain relievers can alleviate a headache, but I have to be careful because studies show that mixing an acetaminophen (Tylenol, Excedrin, etc.) pain reliever with alcohol can be hazardous to the liver — and I don’t need to do any more damage to my liver. Wait until the morning to take any type of pain reliever and stick with ibuprofen products after a night of boozing.
Brushing my teeth and a quick shower takes care of that taste in my mouth and at least makes me look presentable. In my hurried haze, I forget socks and hope no one will notice. Where are my keys? I need food. So thirsty…
There are numerous morning-after meals that some people swear by, such as: a cheeseburger and milkshake, a big greasy breakfast with all the fixings, a peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich on white bread, beans and rice, a sour herring with a beer chaser, a fried egg sandwich, and, of course, the hair of the dog that bit you. I need to eat to replenish the nutrients I lost the night before. I stop by Micky-D’s for a number one with a black coffee on the way to work.
Many drinkers believe in having a cocktail to cure your hangover, with the most popular being the Bloody Mary. However, from what I understand, drinking before work is frowned upon. So I opt for an ice-cold Gatorade.
I get in and they are testing the building’s fire alarm system.
Really? Today of all days… St. Paddy, why have you forsaken me?
Loud beeping and blinking lights make it difficult to focus. I crawl under my desk to hide, a la George Costanza. Maybe no one will notice I’m gone and I can get just a little nap in… yawn.
Time, rest and relaxation are the only 100-percent cures for a hangover, according to Dr. Guy Ratcliffe, medical director of the Medical Council on Alcohol. But if you don’t have the time for the resting and relaxing, you might want to try one of these cures supplied by our readers:
“Juice and Gatorades tend to be a little strong taste-wise, so that leaves us with a conundrum. The solution? Pedialyte. This seems to be the only thing that my stomach can handle if I have tried to drink myself into oblivion the night before. It’s gentle on my stomach, in that it has electrolytes and fructose. I highly recommend the apple flavor. Pedialyte can be found in the baby section of any supermarket and should not be ignored simply because curing hangovers was not its original purpose. Besides, with all the complaining and curling up in the fetal position, who’s to say we don’t transform into overgrown babies?” — Kathryn
This was suggested by several people, so it may be worth trying out.
“I do coke and pretzels, it seems to work every time.” — Christine
This combo is easy to find at the office, so may be good if your hangover doesn’t hit ’til you get to work.
“The redneck hangover cure is 1 tablespoon of sugar, mixed into 1 can of cold Coca Cola. Take along with 2 over-the-counter ibuprofens, then nap 90 minutes. When you wake up, no more hangover! Works every time!”
Interesting, if you can figure out a way to get in a nap, this is worth a shot… Shot? (Shudder.)
“Alka-Seltzer is the best! Especially if you must work the next morning! I like the one that adds cold, plus, the boss sees it and thinks you must have a cold!” — Annie
I like this, very sneaky.
“Tae Bo for 15 minutes or until you break a sweat, glass of water and a shower. It doesn’t necessarily take the hangover away, but at least you feel you accomplished something for the day and can lay on the sofa the rest of the day and watch Lifetime for Women.”
– Jenny
Swap video games for Tae Bo and ESPN for Lifetime, and this plan just might work.
“I personally make myself go to the gym to help sweat out the alcohol… although I’m not really sure if it actually does come out faster, the whole process of drinking the Gatorade and working out makes me feel better. Of course, there have been occasions where that just ain’t gonna happen, and unfortunately the only thing that seems to work is OTC drugs and rest. Sigh…” — Carla
I can’t imagine exercising in my weakened condition, but you sound very brave.
Well, I hope that helps if you’re suffering for last night’s indiscretions, but remember: Drink responsibly, practice prevention and if you’re using these hangover cures on a daily basis, it may be time to try the Betty Ford hangover prevention plan.
Cheers!
What are your sure-fire hangover healing tips? Do you have a wacky recipe or crazy concoction that cures a hangover in no time? Right now, I’m willing to try anything, so don’t be shy — let’s hear ‘em!
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