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Editors Note: The following excerpt is taken from Laura McBride’s journal, with insights from her brother, Christopher Lowell.
Laura began her journey to weight loss and fitness with eDiets in May 2008. She follows the Glycemic Impact Plan, and works closely with eDiets experts who have helped her lose over 20 pounds as of November 2008. Laura continues to make progress, and we are sharing her inspiring story with her permission.
By Laura McBride
May 19, 2008
Laura McBride: I’m back from my trip – a very interesting and productive trip to California mixing business and pleasure. What I most feared did indeed happen; the airplane seat belt wasn’t quite long enough to clasp shut.
Oh. My. God.
You know, that was the ultimate reality check that no matter what, I don’t care what the excuse, how bad my feet hurt, how painful my hip is (a current condition I’ve had for over a month that I keep trying to work through in boxing class but it’s not helping and has now worsened much to my dismay), I absolutely must lose weight. If it means I gag on salad every day (now don’t misunderstand me, I love salad and veggies. It’s the boring every day part of it that kills me after a while), then that is what I have to do. Bite the freaking bullet and do it!
Being with my brother, who is a complete foodie and cooks the most obscenely delicious meals, really did give me the last hurrah we dieters tend to go on before we get real serious (yes, I know, again).
Christopher Lowell: If she was going to the mat, I wanted her to have the great food send off. But while I cooked, I taught her some tricks on seasoning food and light prep that could serve her well in the future…
But be careful of the word “Again.” Often we forget that as we embark on something we already tried and failed at, that each time we recommit, we do change and evolve between tries and therefore while the experience may seem the same, it’s outcome doesn’t have to be. This was the great “turn” Laura had come to and why I had great hopes for this time around.
LM: So, yeah, I’ve had it and I’m ready to embark on this looming adventure ahead that will help me lose weight.
I am so ready, although I’m also scared to death to fail as well. It is such a vulnerable state to be in, for all to see and judge. For all to say, “Well, here she goes again.”
CL: I knew I’d effectively boxed Laura in — eDiets in exchange for her honest blogging about the process where she’s also could use a talent she was great at and felt secure with to also help and inspire others — another mission in her life — so far so good….Using one area of expertise to strengthen areas filled with anxiety is always a great idea that can often counter balance and cross support each other…
LM: But my pride must be swallowed at this point, as it only serves to make matters worse. I am reaping what I have sewn. Big time. And now it’s time to really do something about it in a serious lifestyle change like I’ve never done before.
CL: Pride, I’ve come to understand and embarrassment is often the fuel to making change. Our family has the pride issue in abundance, as our father, a gifted artist and craftsman, did nothing in which he could not excel. While he seemed adventurous, he was never really outside his comfort zone when in public—“if you fail, do it in private,” was the family mantra. But with visible weight, there is no place to hide…
LM: For the past year I have felt like a change was coming in my life. Now it feels like I am right at the beginning of the bend. —The bend that turns my life around in a good way.
CL: Having had so many talks with Laura about weight, I knew the timing was right and that she would give it the big try. Over her time with me, there was a lot of “projecting” about “what ifs” that had to be worked through until Laura felt she could move forward with out trying to mastermind the experience.
When we try to “control” anything, it’s because our personal history tells us that we might fail like we’ve done in the past. So living in the past and projecting into the future leaves no time to being the journey living in the present, moment by moment…
LM: Even though I am scared, I have no choice but to go forward. It would be foolish to do otherwise.
So. Here I go.
CL: As my dear sister headed home, I knew she was about to embark on what could either be the most meaningful or most devastating juncture of her life….And now, her journey, in her own words…
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